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Panel Round Two

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME! the NPR news quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Amy Dickinson, Mo Rocca and Roy Blount Jr. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Eddie Murphy gets frustrated with Carl, cause he wants to party all the rhyme, party all the rhyme.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's the listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Mo, the new X-Box comes out next week, and everybody is excited about its new infrared camera that can capture a gamer's image and motion, even in the dark. Early testers have noticed one issue though, it can see your what?

MO ROCCA: Your privates probably, yeah.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed. Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Your little joystick.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The xBox One is a technical marvel...

ROCCA: The xBox can see your Wii.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So the xBox One is a technical marvel and one that will showcase your own technical marvel for the world to see. Whether you play Tetris with a weird squiggly piece or a long straight piece...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...the infrared camera - no, the way it works is this camera is so precise that it can actually see through your clothes...

AMY DICKINSON: Oh my god.

SAGAL: ...and you can see the results when you look up. And if you look at the image it's like your naked self on the screen. While this may seem like a huge flaw, or if we're being honest, an average sized flaw...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...but gamers - video game enthusiasts can now say in fact somebody has seen you naked!

(LAUGHTER)

ROY BLOUNT, JR.: Oh, yeah.

ROCCA: It's like getting X-ray then.

SAGAL: A little bit. Well, not quite. I mean, it's not like - it doesn't show your bones.

ROCCA: Well...

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: ...speak for yourself.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Amy, Senator Rand Paul has sounded the warning, the federal government is coming to take away our god-given what?

DICKINSON: Oh, our - what would they be taking? Is it a kind of food?

SAGAL: It is.

DICKINSON: Trans fats.

SAGAL: But trans fats - so it's because of the trans fats.

DICKINSON: Bacon.

SAGAL: Not bacon.

DICKINSON: Not my bacon.

SAGAL: No.

DICKINSON: Get your paws off my bacon. Our...

JR.: I'll give a hint.

DICKINSON: Okay.

JR.: It has a hole in it.

DICKINSON: Not - no.

JR.: No. Yeah.

DICKINSON: Not my donuts.

SAGAL: Yes, your donuts.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ROCCA: No. Oh, the bastard.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Senator Rand Paul says the federal government's going to come take our donuts. The FDA recently banned trans fats, a particularly noxious kind of food product, and Senator Paul said that meant jackabudad thugs will be grabbing the donuts from us, you know.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And of course it was met with a cry, they'll pry our donuts from our fat dead hands which they could do as soon as next January, because we eat a lot of donuts. The trick is most donuts don't have trans fats. Dunkin Donuts don't have them. Krispy Kreme doesn't have them.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: I just have to say sitting next to Amy, how she reacted with such horror, I'm imagining Amy Dickinson in "Not Without My Donut."

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: It's a Lifetime movie, right?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It really is. Roy, a Spanish tech company has invented a new device to help parents keep tabs on their babies. What is it?

JR.: A new device for keeping tabs on their babies.

SAGAL: Yeah.

JR.: Not literal tabs like things you stick on the baby.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Right.

DICKINSON: For organizing them, that's great.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Oh, flipping through my babies for...

JR.: Well, it's like...

SAGAL: You don't have to pick them up and smell them anymore. Now you'll find out electronically.

JR.: Oh, so is that a sensor that recognizes when they're...

SAGAL: Yes.

JR.: ...nappies are soiled.

SAGAL: Yes, exactly. It is in fact a SmartDiaper.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A SmartDiaper is a diaper that's gone to Harvard, so it soaks up what baby leaves behind, but now it's totally insufferable about it.

JR.: Right.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: So what happens? It makes an announcement or what...

SAGAL: Well, what it does is it's a device that's called in Spanish siempre sucos or always dry and has a sensor and it's in the diaper. And it wirelessly connects to a bracelet worn by the parents. So when the diaper's full it signals that, excuse me, but the baby has successfully completed the digestive cycle as it is want to do.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF GAS)

(LAUGHTER)

JR.: I would just like to say that that was not me.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Amy, seriously. Like, I think you need an advice column to yourself on that one.

(SOUNDBITE OF GAS)

JR.: People out there in radio land do not know who is making that noise. It wasn't me.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Roy, Dutch researchers have discovered that one word might be the last remnant of the first human language, a word that everybody understands, no matter where they're from or what language they speak. What is that word?

JR.: Huh?

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Great news. Wherever you go, whatever remote island you're on, you'll be able to let the natives know you have no idea what they're saying.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to the researchers, the ten different languages they studied all had a word that sounded like huh, indicating confusion or incomprehension. Weirdly, the other word that everybody understood was twerking.

(LAUGHTER)

JR.: You could spell huh with an n in there, a little nasal...

ROCCA: Hunh, hunh.

JR.: ...h-u-n-h.

ROCCA: Oh, so maybe it was Atilla the Hunh?

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I'm just imagining showing off the first cave paintings and the other guy goes huh.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: That's more eh.

(LAUGHTER)

JR.: Then there's uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Now it sounds like you're twerking.

(LAUGHTER)

JR.: That's about as close as I get.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.