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Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth 2 points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Paula and Faith each have 2 and Adam has 3.

SAGAL: Oh my goodness. So that means that Paula and Faith are tied for second. We have flipped a coin, and Paula has elected to go first. So the clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. This week, officials say they suspected a terrorist group might be behind the disappearance of a blank travelling from Paris to Cairo

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Plane.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, Donald Trump released a list of 11 potential blank nominees.

POUNDSTONE: Supreme Court.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After 50 years of legal battles, a federal judge ordered a school system in Mississippi to blank on Monday.

POUNDSTONE: Cut it out.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Almost, desegregate.

POUNDSTONE: Oh.

SAGAL: A babysitter in Colorado was arrested this week after she took the two kids in her care on a trip to blank.

POUNDSTONE: On a trip to a rave.

SAGAL: No, to rob a bank.

POUNDSTONE: Oh.

SAGAL: This week, pharmaceutical giant Pfizer announced it would no longer allow its products to be used for blank.

POUNDSTONE: Killing people by the state.

SAGAL: Yeah, executions.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Uber announced they were testing blanks in Pittsburgh.

POUNDSTONE: Space shuttles.

SAGAL: No, self-driving cars. This week, a group of volunteer firefighters in Pennsylvania were...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Accused of calling in several false alarms because blank.

POUNDSTONE: They were bored.

SAGAL: Almost - because they loved riding in the fire truck.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to the Logan County Police Department, the four men called in five false alarms over the course of two months because they loved riding around in the truck. The men were suspended after being outed as liars and are now calling in a real alarm for someone to come put out their pants.

(LAUGHTER)

ADAM FELBER: Oh, I see that.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KURTIS: She got three right, 6 more points...

POUNDSTONE: I like that tone of voice. Do you use that every...

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: ...Total of 8. She's in the lead, though.

POUNDSTONE: She got three right. How the hell did she do that?

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, Faith, you are up next. Fill in the blank. This week, the Senate unanimously approved a bill allowing families of the victims of 9/11 to sue blank.

FAITH SALIE: Saudi Arabia.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, regulators in California lifted statewide restrictions on blank use.

SALIE: Water.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the EU announced that they may fine blank up to $3.4 billion for anti-trust violations.

SALIE: Britain?

SAGAL: Google.

SALIE: Oh.

SAGAL: A Canadian woman driving home on a foggy day had to be rescued after she blanked.

SALIE: After she elbowed the prime minister by accident.

SAGAL: No, after she followed her car's GPS directions straight off a pier into a freezing lake.

SALIE: Oh.

SAGAL: On Sunday, the sports minister of Russia apologized for that country's recent blank scandal.

SALIE: Doping.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: New evidence shows that billions of years ago, massive tsunamis towered over blank.

SALIE: Mars.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An aerial photographer filming a renaissance fair in Russia had his drone damaged...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...When a man blanked.

SALIE: A medieval knight threw his spear at it.

SAGAL: That's exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

FELBER: Wow.

SAGAL: The quadcopter...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...Was filming the reenactment of a medieval battle when a man turned, launched his spear in the air and landed a perfect hit, causing the drone to fall from the sky.

The spearman was celebrated for his kill and is known forever after as Jerry, first of his name, destroyer of drones, slayer of burritos and ruler of his mom's basement.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Uncontested ruler of his mom's basement.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Faith do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, she did pretty good - five right, 10 more points, total of 12. So she takes over the lead.

SAGAL: Well done, Faith.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, how many then does Adam need to win?

KURTIS: Five to win - let's count them out.

SAGAL: Here we go, Adam. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the Senate confirmed Eric Fanning, the first openly-blank secretary of the Army.

FELBER: Gay.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After two years, officials in Nigeria say they’ve rescued a girl kidnapped by blank.

FELBER: Boko Haram.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the Senate passed a bill providing over $1 billion to combat blank.

FELBER: Zika.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a poll released this week, 90 percent of Native Americans said they weren't bothered by blank's name.

FELBER: The Redskins.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After a robbery suspect in Florida tried to evade police by commanding his dog to kill him, his dog blanked.

FELBER: Died.

SAGAL: No, bit him on the butt and chased him into a house where police arrested him.

FELBER: Oh boy.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week, an amateur fossil hunter working in Montana discovered a new species of blank.

FELBER: Dinosaur.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, longtime "60 Minutes" host blank passed away at the age of 84.

FELBER: Morley Safer.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the Richmond Times-Dispatch published an obituary for...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Mary Anne Noland that read blank.

FELBER: Mary Anne Noland-more.

SAGAL: No.

POUNDSTONE: No - we got this.

SAGAL: Too bad. It read, quote, "faced with the prospect of voting for either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton...

FELBER: Oh yes.

SAGAL: ...Mary Anne chose to pass into the eternal love of God on Sunday."

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: When asked why she didn't consider the possibility of Bernie Sanders becoming the nominee, Ms. Noland reportedly said I'm not sure if Bernie has a chance in hell, but I'm excited to find out.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Adam do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Well, he got six right, 12 more points, total of 15. He's the winner.

POUNDSTONE: There it is.

(APPLAUSE)

FELBER: I couldn't have done it without you two. Congratulations.

SALIE: You wouldn't have had anybody to beat.

SAGAL: And in keeping with the spirit of this Democratic primary, neither Faith nor Paula are conceding defeat.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: I'm going all the way to the prediction.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict how Hillary Clinton will convince Bernie Sanders to drop out of the race.

WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago, in association with Urgent Haircut Productions - Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philipp Goedicke writes our limericks. Our house manager is Don Hall. Our assistant house manager is Tyler Greene. Our intern is Isabelly of the Beast Robertson (ph). Our web guru is Beth Novey. Special thanks to the crew here at Chase Bank. B.J. Leiderman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Miles Doornbos. And this week we welcome our brand-new producer Robin Linn (ph). It was amazing how you came to work on Monday, and after meeting all of us came to work on Tuesday.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Ann Nguyen. Our production coordinator is Robert Neuhaus. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. And the executive producer of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is Michael Danforth. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.