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Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now it is time for our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Amy and Luke each have three. Maz has two.

LUKE BURBANK: Welcome to new America, Maz.

(LAUGHTER)

MAZ JOBRANI: Yeah, I'll just leave.

SAGAL: Yeah.

JOBRANI: Thank you very much.

SAGAL: Maz, you're in last place so...

JOBRANI: Yes, I am.

SAGAL: ...You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. This week, a Russian diplomat said that the country had been in contact with blank's team during the campaign.

JOBRANI: Trump.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, an Ohio man was charged with trying to join blank in Libya.

JOBRANI: ISIS.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Washington, D.C., overwhelmingly passed a ballot measure to petition Congress to name them blank.

JOBRANI: A state?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, Kenyan runner Mary Keitany won her third straight blank.

JOBRANI: New York Marathon.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: During an interview on CNN just before the election, Trump surrogate Scottie Nell Hughes mistakenly called a Molotov cocktail a blank.

JOBRANI: A Molotov [expletive].

SAGAL: No. She called it a mazel tov cocktail.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Hughes made the slip-up while criticizing Hillary supporter Jay-Z, whose video for "No Church In The Wild" features a man throwing a Molotov cocktail at a line of police in riot gear. Unfortunately for Ms. Hughes, she accidentally called a mazel tov cocktail, which is what you throw at a line of police right after their bar mitzvah.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Isn't that a Manischewitz wine? Isn't mazel tov...

SAGAL: Yeah.

BURBANK: Yep.

SAGAL: Bill, how Maz do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He got four right. That's eight more points. He has a total of 10, and he's in the lead.

SAGAL: That's great, Maz. Well done.

JOBRANI: Yes, thank you.

SAGAL: Well, we have flipped a coin.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: We have flipped a coin. Luke has elected to go next. Luke, fill in the blank. According to aid workers, food rations have completely run out in the Syrian city of blank this week.

BURBANK: Aleppo?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, voters in California, Massachusetts and Nevada approved the use of recreational blank.

BURBANK: Marijuana.

SAGAL: Yes, just in time.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a federal jury ordered Rolling Stone to pay $3 million in damages to an associate dean from blank.

BURBANK: University of Virginia.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, former vice president blank offered to work with Trump on climate change.

BURBANK: Gore.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a not-at-all ominous piece of symbolism, a pair of blanks were found stuck in a drain in Orlando.

BURBANK: Bald eagles.

SAGAL: Yes. They were rescued.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After it was revealed that he was dating American actress Meghan Markle, blank asked the press for privacy.

BURBANK: Prince Harry.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, former attorney general blank passed away at the age of 78.

SAGAL: Janet Reno.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In China, a cellphone thief was foiled when it turned out the device he'd stolen was a blank.

BURBANK: Panda.

SAGAL: No, a Samsung Galaxy Note 7.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The theft took place in an internet cafe, something that still exists, and the thief grabbed the Samsung, a company that still exists as of showtime. But he didn't get far before the phone exploded, having been equipped with an ultimate safety feature, a major design flaw. The thief was doubly disappointed because he'd just equipped his getaway car with really nice, new Takata airbags and some Chinese drywall.

(LAUGHTER)

AMY DICKINSON: Oh.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Luke do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Luke is reaching for the stars.

SAGAL: Yeah.

KURTIS: He got seven right, 14 more points...

DICKINSON: Whoa.

KURTIS: ...The lead with 17.

DICKINSON: Oh, forget it.

SAGAL: OK.

DICKINSON: Forget that.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: And how many does Amy need to win, Bill?

KURTIS: Seven to tie - eight to win.

JOBRANI: Make Amy great again.

SAGAL: Here we go.

DICKINSON: Whoa.

SAGAL: This week, investigators identified the alleged coordinator of the ISIS attacks on Brussels and blank.

DICKINSON: Paris?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Sheriff Joe Arpaio lost his re-election bid in blank.

DICKINSON: In Arizona?

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, an Australian man faced a $9,000 fine for using a drone to blank.

DICKINSON: Does it involve a Barbie, a shrimp, a koala?

SAGAL: No, it didn't.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Actually, it did involve a Barbie. It was - he delivered a barbecued sausage to his friend. On Thursday, President Obama welcomed LeBron James and the rest of the blanks to the White House.

DICKINSON: The Cavs.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Dungeons and Dragons and Fisher-Price's Little People were inducted into the blank.

DICKINSON: The Toy Hall of Fame.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

DICKINSON: But you know what? I'm pissed off...

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: ...Because Care Bears didn't get it.

DICKINSON: Yeah.

DICKINSON: It was like Care Bears...

SAGAL: Was that your week? Amy...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Amy, you seem upset.

DICKINSON: Yeah.

SAGAL: Why?

DICKINSON: I can take...

SAGAL: Haven't you heard? Care Bears were not elected.

DICKINSON: Yeah. I can take just so much.

SAGAL: In what may be a metaphor for their whole campaign, while Trump campaign chief Steve Bannon was feeding a speech into a teleprompter, his pants blanked.

DICKINSON: (Laughter) His pants fell down?

SAGAL: No, his pants caught on fire.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: No.

JOBRANI: What?

DICKINSON: No.

SAGAL: Yep.

DICKINSON: No.

JOBRANI: How?

DICKINSON: That did not happen.

SAGAL: It happened.

DICKINSON: No kidding. Oh.

SAGAL: As I believe I will be saying for the next four years at least, I am not making this up.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Oh, my God.

SAGAL: According to the story, which was published in The New York Times just before the election, campaign CEO Steve Bannon was hard at work in putting one of Trump's final speeches into a teleprompter when a nearby hot light caused his pants to catch fire. The Times reported that the sentence he was writing at the time was don't worry, we didn't mean any of it. Bill, did Amy do well enough to win?

KURTIS: No.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: She did get four right, eight more points, but the 11 can't catch Luke...

SAGAL: Hey.

KURTIS: ...With 17.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.