PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you would like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAITWAIT - that's 1-888-924-8924 - or click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and next week's show in Cleveland, Ohio. December 8 we will be at the State Theatre along with Paula Poundstone, Faith Salie and Peter Grosz. Don't miss it. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
EMILY GLAVAN: Hi, this is Emily Glavan. And I'm calling from Boston, Mass.
SAGAL: Boston, Mass.? I love that. I love Boston. I spent a lot of time there. What do you do there?
GLAVAN: I'm training sailors how to fight pirates "Captain Phillips" style.
SAGAL: You are not.
HELEN HONG: What?
GLAVAN: I am.
SAGAL: That is so cool. First of all, where do you get the expertise in fighting pirates?
GLAVAN: Well, I kind of just send them to the class.
(LAUGHTER)
GLAVAN: But I like to say that I actually train them.
SAGAL: So wait a minute. So you're not actually teaching them, like, knife fighting. You're saying, go to your knife-fighting class.
GLAVAN: Yeah.
SAGAL: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Emily, welcome to the show. Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on just two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Are you ready to play?
GLAVAN: Yep.
SAGAL: Well, here we go. Here's your first limerick.
BILL KURTIS: In response to this new food-trend poll, how much did our pets play a role? With soup and with rice, it works out real nice. But must we eat cake from a...
GLAVAN: Bowl?
SAGAL: Yes, bowl. The hot - you can give her some applause for that, yeah.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: The hot-food trend in 2017 promises to be once again a bunch of crap thrown in a bowl.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: In a recent report from a restaurant trade association, bowls were said to have a pleasant psychological effect on the diner. Quote, "If you hold a bowl Buddha-like while eating, you are more prone to mindfulness about your meal," unquote. The report says that explains why so many people achieve nirvana at a KFC.
(LAUGHTER)
ADAM FELBER: Yeah. I mean, I think that the Buddha thing is one thing. But a bowl just kind of means there's more of it, doesn't it?
SAGAL: Yeah, certainly feels that way.
FELBER: Yeah.
SAGAL: There's a real sort of satisfying - oh, I bought a lot of food.
FELBER: This plate is so big it has walls.
SAGAL: Yeah, exactly.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.
KURTIS: The North Pole loves pizza and plain beer. But delivery on bikes is a pain here. So let Comet and Blitzen bring toppings and fixings. Our pizza's delivered by...
GLAVAN: Plain deer?
SAGAL: Not plain deer. You're almost - you've almost got it. A different variety of deer - it rhymes with that. Plain deer...
GLAVAN: Oh, reindeer.
SAGAL: Reindeer, yes.
(APPLAUSE, LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Domino's Pizza is - at least they say they are - training reindeer to deliver pizza this winter. It's the only time killing your delivery man and mounting his head on the wall is legal.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: You said 30 minutes or less, Rudolph.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So Domino's in Japan released a video that showed the employees walking these reindeer around a parking lot with delivery boxes strapped to their backs. And the staff keep up with the reindeer with smartphones - shows the animal's location. Oh, my reindeer's on the way. But you know what's going to happen? Your pizza will never arrive. And on Christmas Eve, obese reindeer will fall from the sky.
(LAUGHTER)
LUKE BURBANK: Through your roof.
SAGAL: Exactly. Here is your last limerick.
KURTIS: Though I am a candy-bar junkie, even I find this milk source too wonky. It isn't OK if its moo is a bray. This chocolate has milk from a...
GLAVAN: Donkey?
SAGAL: Yes, a donkey. Yuck.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: A company in Switzerland, perhaps tired of that nation's standing, is home to the world's best chocolate...
KURTIS: (Laughter).
SAGAL: ...Has started making milk chocolate with donkey milk. The company is called Fornerod. They say its donkey's milk chocolate is the first of its kind and perfect for people who might be allergic to cow's milk or people who never want to eat chocolate again.
(LAUGHTER)
BURBANK: I have all my donkey chocolate delivered by reindeer.
SAGAL: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
BURBANK: Interesting.
SAGAL: Maybe that's why Eeyore is always so gloomy. Winnie the Pooh is constantly trying to milk him.
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: I guess I'll pretend to lactate again.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Isn't it weird that we're like, oh, God, donkey's milk. Oh, that's so disgusting. Get away from us. I'm just going to have a - I need to recover. I'm going to have a brimming glass of liquid I just squeezed from a cow udder.
(LAUGHTER)
BURBANK: Yeah. It is very arbitrary how we feel about these things. But I'll tell you what.
SAGAL: What?
BURBANK: Milk is delicious, and donkey milk is gross. And that's just how God intended it.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Emily do on our quiz?
KURTIS: You know, Emily got them all right. Good job, Emily.
SAGAL: Well done, Emily.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: And good luck with those pirates.
GLAVAN: Oh, thanks. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.