PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players now has 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer's worth two points.
Bill, can you give us the scores?
BILL KURTIS: Paula has two. Negin and Tom are tied at 4.
SAGAL: Oh, my gosh.
PAULA POUNDSTONE: You know, I never really thought of Negin and Tom as cheaters before, but...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Paula, you're in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank.
On Thursday, an appeals court allowed an emoluments lawsuit against blank to proceed.
POUNDSTONE: Trump.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, the WHO warned that coronavirus cases have jumped in countries that have lifted their blanks.
POUNDSTONE: Bans. Their stay-at-home orders.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, the Senate rejected a bill to bar warrantless searches of people's blank.
POUNDSTONE: Computers.
SAGAL: Close enough. Internet history, yeah.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, Republican Mike Garcia won a special primary election in blank.
POUNDSTONE: California.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a police officer in Boston was able to lure an escaped peacock back to his enclosure by blanking.
POUNDSTONE: Pretending to be a peacock.
SAGAL: So close. By playing peacock mating calls on his phone.
This week, 800 homes in Scotland were left without electricity...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...After a bull blanked.
POUNDSTONE: He was scratching himself on the pole.
SAGAL: Exactly right, Paula. It scratched its butt on the pole...
NEGIN FARSAD: Wow.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
POUNDSTONE: Because it didn't have a couch.
SAGAL: Exactly. The 1,200-pound bull whose name is Ron cut off power to three neighboring villages when he scratched his butt on the electricity pole and knocked the transformer right off it. It took 18 hours to restore the power. It could be worse. It could be like the time Mrs. O'Leary's cow started the Great Chicago Fire because she just wanted to warm her cold butt over a lantern.
FARSAD: Wait. Can we circle back to his name was Ron?
SAGAL: Ron the bull.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: This is Ron. He's a bull.
POUNDSTONE: He's impregnated Sarah, Elizabeth...
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: ...Joannie, Francis...
SAGAL: Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz this time?
KURTIS: She had five right for 10 more points. She now has 12 points, which is the lead.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
SAGAL: Oh, good.
POUNDSTONE: Oh, yeah. I can really see me hanging on to this.
SAGAL: Well, because we are lost in an endless void of meaningless, I'm just going to say arbitrarily that Tom goes next. So here we go, Tom.
TOM PAPA: (Laughter).
SAGAL: Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, a federal judge delayed a Justice Department order to drop the case against blank.
PAPA: Mike Flynn.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, another 3 million Americans filed for blank.
PAPA: Unemployment.
PAPA: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, former Trump campaign chairman blank was released from prison into home confinement over coronavirus fears.
PAPA: Manafort.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, Dr. Rick Bright predicted that a coronavirus blank will take 12 to 18 months to develop.
PAPA: The vaccine.
SAGAL: Right. Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a man in California was arrested for blanking on the highway.
PAPA: For speeding?
SAGAL: For jumping onto a tanker truck filled with wine, unscrewing a valve and drinking directly from the tank.
Researchers reported that as recently as 45...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Million years ago, saber-toothed blanks lived on the earth.
PAPA: Tigers.
SAGAL: No, saber-toothed anchovies.
PAPA: That's a lie.
SAGAL: It's true. I've seen its picture.
PAPA: (Laughter).
SAGAL: The salty predator...
PAPA: How did they fit in the can?
SAGAL: Well, that's the thing. Well, the thing is, like, these things are about a foot long. And they had this one saber tooth shooting down from the top of the mouth. And that was really dangerous because they could just, you know, puncture their way out of the can.
PAPA: Out of the can (laughter).
SAGAL: That's why you can't find them in the stores.
POUNDSTONE: I'm sure I've seen that in a Warner Brothers cartoon before.
(LAUGHTER)
FARSAD: But that's also the inspiration behind the modern can opener.
PAPA: There you are.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Tom do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Very well. He got four right, eight more points. He now has 12 points. He and Paula are tied for the lead.
(APPLAUSE)
PAPA: Oh, are we set up for failure now?
SAGAL: All right.
FARSAD: Oh, let's see what happens.
PAPA: It's impossible for Negin not to win.
SAGAL: Well, how many, then, does Negin need to win, Bill?
KURTIS: Five. Five to win.
SAGAL: All right, Negin, this is for the game.
FARSAD: All right.
SAGAL: Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, House Democrats unveiled a new $3 trillion blank bill.
FARSAD: A relief bill.
SAGAL: Yeah, for the coronavirus crisis.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Sunday, Boris Johnson unveiled his plan to slowly reopen blank's economy.
FARSAD: The United Kingdom.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, North Carolina senator blank announced he was stepping down as chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee because of an FBI investigation.
FARSAD: It's Richard Burr.
SAGAL: Yes, Richard Burr, sir.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Thursday, Lindsey Graham announced an investigation into the origins of the blank probe.
FARSAD: Russia probe.
SAGAL: Yeah, Mueller probe, Russia probe.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Further proof that we're living in a cartoon, a man in Tucson recorded video of a blank chasing a blank.
FARSAD: Of a lizard chasing a cat.
SAGAL: A coyote chasing a roadrunner.
On Wednesday, Uber announced new rules that would require drivers and riders to wear blanks.
FARSAD: Masks.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Sunday, comedian and actor blank, best known for his role on "Seinfeld," passed away at the age of 92.
FARSAD: Jerry Stiller.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: A German cafe has insured social distancing by having customers...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Blank.
FARSAD: Measure their space out in strudels.
SAGAL: No, the customers are all required to wear pool noodles on their heads.
FARSAD: What?
PAPA: What?
SAGAL: The sidewalk cafe in Schwerin, Germany, gives each customer a hat with perpendicular pool noodles attached to the top. It's great for keeping safe unless a strong wind comes up and you take off like a helicopter.
(LAUGHTER)
PAPA: I guess this is the strategy. Make going out so absurd and annoying that you don't want to go out.
POUNDSTONE: Really. I mean, there's nothing about that that sounds like a good idea to me.
SAGAL: Bill, how did Negin do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Well, it's been a close game, but Negin had six right for 12 more points. So with 16, she wins.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Congratulations, Negin.
POUNDSTONE: Way to go.
FARSAD: Thank you. Thank you very much.
SAGAL: Came from behind. You got it. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
