UNIDENTIFIED PERSON, BYLINE: The following program was taped before an audience of no one.
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BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. Everybody, remember; when you go out, wear a mask and follow social distancing. It's just common-Bill (ph) courtesy. And here's your host, who enjoys the ants in his kitchen because it reminds him of being outside, Peter Sagal.
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill. So it's a holiday weekend, which normally means we'd be outside at picnics and barbecues. But this year, we're reduced to sniffing tubes of sunblock, hoping to trigger some memories of being outdoors.
KURTIS: It's been three months of sheltering in place - I think. Wait. Let me check the marks I make every day on the wall.
SAGAL: This also means that for the last three months, we have been producing WAIT WAIT out of our homes. And let me tell you, it's had an effect on us.
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KURTIS: And here is your host from a Jacuzzi filled with hand sanitizer somewhere in Chicago, Peter Sagal.
And here again is your host, wearing a full-body rubber glove. It's Peter Sagal.
And here again is your host from the Federal Strategic Toilet Paper Reserve in Chicago, Peter Sagal.
Here to put the play in plague, it's...
And here is your host from inside the same pair of pajamas he's had on for two weeks.
And here again is your host, pretending his dogs count as an audience...
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KURTIS: ...Peter...
Uh-oh. It's a glo-Bill (ph) pandemic.
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KURTIS: I'm Bill Kurtis. And here is your host - probably wearing pants, but no promises - Peter Sagal.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.