PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?
BILL KURTIS: Well, Luke has five, Negin has six, and Roxanne has six.
SAGAL: All right, Luke. You are in second place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, Mitch McConnell said he wouldn't reconvene the Senate for President Trump's blank trial until after Joe Biden's inauguration.
LUKE BURBANK: Impeachment.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, the U.S. announced they would require negative blank tests from all international travelers.
BURBANK: COVID.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, former Michigan Governor Rick Snyder was charged for his lack of action over blank's water crisis.
BURBANK: Flint.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Thursday, New York's attorney general announced a suit against the NYPD for their handling of the blank protests earlier this year.
BURBANK: Black Lives Matter.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Thanks to new Brexit rules, a British truck driver was stopped by officials in the Netherlands after he attempted to smuggle blank across the border.
BURBANK: Beefeaters.
SAGAL: No, the ham sandwich he was going to eat for lunch. On Wednesday, it was reported that President Trump was refusing to pay blank's legal fees.
BURBANK: Rudy Giuliani.
SAGAL: Rudy Giuliani.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, billionaire Republican donor blank passed away at the age of 87.
BURBANK: Sheldon Adelson.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a young girl in England's plan...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...To make extra money from the tooth fairy was foiled when her mom discovered blank.
BURBANK: She had already lost all her teeth. She was 26.
SAGAL: No, Mom discovered that the tooth she put under the pillow was just a Tic Tac.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: After cashing in on some baby teeth, the 9-year-old came up with this brilliant scheme. She split a Tic Tac, the little white mint, in half. And she added - she's so good at this - a bit of red paint to one end to make it look realistic, sticks it under the pillow. Voila, the perfect crime. Unfortunately, her mom found the tooth first and identified it as a fake because, like all people who find teeth under pillows, she put it in her mouth to see if it was minty.
BURBANK: Watch that kid. That kid is going places.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right. Bill, how did Luke do on our quiz?
KURTIS: He's hot. At six right for 12 more points, he now has 17 and the lead.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
SAGAL: All right. Negin and Roxanne are tied. Negin, I'm going to let you go next so Roxanne can have the pleasure of coming after you and beating you like a drum.
NEGIN FARSAD: OK.
SAGAL: All right. Here we go, Negin. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, President-elect Joe Biden revealed his administration's plan for blank relief.
FARSAD: Coronavirus.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, it was reported that officials were considering sedition charges against the rioters who blanked.
FARSAD: Stormed the Capitol.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, the FBI warned police chiefs to be on high alert for extremist violence during blank.
FARSAD: The inauguration.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Two New York men were arrested on drug possession charges after they blanked.
FARSAD: After they sang an opera.
SAGAL: After they went back to get all the drugs they had forgotten in their rental car.
FARSAD: (Laughter).
SAGAL: On Tuesday, streaming service blank announced they would release a new movie once a week for the entirety of 2021.
FARSAD: HBO Max?
SAGAL: Netflix. On Monday, Alabama beat Ohio State to win their 13th national title in blank.
FARSAD: Football?
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a woman in Canada was fined...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...After trying to get around lockdown restrictions by blanking.
FARSAD: Wearing a mask everywhere. What?
SAGAL: No, by walking her boyfriend on a leash.
FARSAD: What?
SAGAL: The woman hoped to get around Quebec's curfew by taking her boyfriend for a walk. You're allowed to walk your dog, so why not walk your boyfriend? Unfortunately, she was caught pretty easily. The boyfriend just didn't make a convincing dog no matter how hard he humped the officer's leg.
BURBANK: (Laughter).
SAGAL: Bill, how did Negin do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Pretty good. Negin had four right for eight more points. She now has 14. But with 17, Luke still has the lead.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
SAGAL: All right. How many then does Roxanne need to win?
KURTIS: Roxanne need six to win.
SAGAL: Here we go, Roxanne. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, Johnson & Johnson said the trials for their single-shot blank showed it was effective.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: Vaccine.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, Blue Cross and Marriott International joined other companies in halting donations to lawmakers who blanked.
ROBERTS: Who voted against the certification of the election.
SAGAL: Yes, of the election.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: After his foreign counterparts refused meetings with him, Secretary of State blank cancelled his trip to Europe.
ROBERTS: Mike Pompeo.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: He was dissed by Liechtenstein. On Monday, Chad Wolf, the acting secretary of blank, was the latest Trump appointee to resign.
ROBERTS: DHS.
SAGAL: Right, Homeland Security.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, pop star Post Malone announced he was donating 10,000 blanks to frontline workers.
ROBERTS: Pizzas?
SAGAL: No, 10,000 of his sold-out signature Croc shoes. On Monday...
ROBERTS: Oh, that's right.
SAGAL: On Monday, right-wing social media platform blank sued Amazon after the company pulled their web hosting services.
ROBERTS: Parler.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Thursday, a new report showed that blank claims had soared to their highest total since August.
ROBERTS: Unemployment.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a school in New Jersey had to be evacuated...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...After a student brought in blank as part of a science project.
ROBERTS: Oh, was this the uranium-covered thing to test his Geiger counter?
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: That's exactly what it was, Roxanne. It was a hunk of uranium. The teenager had wanted to show off how a Geiger counter worked, so he brought in a quarter-size piece of uranium glass, which eventually led to the whole school being evacuated. The student has since apologized, saying that he was assured the glass was safe. And though no disciplinary action was taken by the school, the Trump administration slapped harsh sanctions on his allowance.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, did Roxanne do well enough to win?
KURTIS: Caught them the curves - Roxanne had seven right for 14 more points, which means, with 20 points, she is the champion this week.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
SAGAL: What a surprise. I am stunned.
FARSAD: (Laughter).
BURBANK: If you put the uranium kid and the fake tooth kid together, I'll tell you what, they're going to rule the world.
ROBERTS: (Laughter). Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
