(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Luke Burbank, Roxanne Roberts and Negin Farsad. And here again is your host, a man who's disappointed he can no longer wear his horn helmet, Peter Sagal.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thanks, Bill. In just a minute, why does Bill cry? Because he's lach-rhyme-ose (ph) in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, it is time for a game that we are going to call...
KURTIS: The Insurrection Collection.
SAGAL: Stories about last week's insurrection are coming in faster than QAnon types coming over a police barrier, so we're going to ask you true-false questions about the assault on democracy rapid-fire style. Get your question right - you get a point, and you get a podium from the speaker of the House's office.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Ready to play?
ROXANNE ROBERTS: Yeah.
LUKE BURBANK: Let's go.
SAGAL: All right. Luke, true or false? The shirtless, tattooed rioter in Viking horns seen in photos of the insurrection was arrested and went on a hunger strike in jail to protest Joe Biden stealing the election.
BURBANK: True.
SAGAL: No, false. He went on a hunger strike because the jail would not feed him an all-organic diet. Roxanne, true or false - the lawyer for the man photographed stealing a podium from the Capitol said his client would likely be convicted because, quote, "it'll be impossible to find an impartial jury."
ROBERTS: False.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: His lawyer said his client would be convicted because, quote, "hey, I'm not a magician."
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Negin, true or false - Chuck Norris issued a statement saying the guy who looked like Chuck Norris at the insurrection was not him.
NEGIN FARSAD: True.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Roxanne, true or false? Olympic swimmer Klete Keller issued a statement saying the guy who looked like Klete Keller at the insurrection was not him.
ROBERTS: False.
SAGAL: Right. That was Klete Keller.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Negin, true or false - many of the rioters were turned in by people who suddenly felt guilty about helping their close friends commit treason.
ROBERTS: False.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Many of them were turned in by their ex-wives. Roxanne, true or false...
ROBERTS: (Laughter).
SAGAL: ...A man photographed in the Senate in paramilitary gear holding zip ties brought a retired British paratrooper with him when he stormed the Capitol.
ROBERTS: False.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: He brought his mom.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Luke, in response to the president leading the insurrection, Angela Merkel called for him to be removed from office immediately.
BURBANK: True.
SAGAL: No, false. In response to the insurrection, Macaulay Culkin called for Donald Trump to be digitally removed...
ROBERTS: (Laughter).
SAGAL: ...From "Home Alone 2."
BURBANK: That's, like, the same thing.
SAGAL: That's it for our armed insurrection at the Capitol roundup. Come back next week for our armed insurrection at the inauguration roundup.
(SOUNDBITE OF JOHN PHILIP SOUSA'S "THE THUNDERER") Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
