PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points.
Bill, can you give us the scores?
BILL KURTIS: Roxanne has two. Alonzo has two. And Helen has four.
SAGAL: Four, my goodness. So Rox (ph) and Alonzo are tied. I will arbitrarily choose Roxanne to go first. Here we go. Roxanne, the clock will start when I begin your first question.
Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, President Biden announced that blank would lead the administration's efforts to manage the border.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: Vice President Harris.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, North Korea launched a barrage of short-range blanks.
ROBERTS: Missiles.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, Rachel Levine became the first openly blank official confirmed by the Senate.
ROBERTS: Transgender.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, the director of the CDC warned that Americans must continue wearing blanks.
ROBERTS: Masks.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Just in time to ruin Easter, Peeps announced their newest creation blank.
ROBERTS: Marshmallow soda.
SAGAL: Yes, Peeps-flavored Pepsi.
ROBERTS: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, Miami Beach declared a state of emergency over crowds attending blank.
ROBERTS: Spring break.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, it was reported the U.S. could be facing another shortage of blank.
ROBERTS: Vaccines.
SAGAL: No. Toilet paper.
ROBERTS: Oh.
SAGAL: This week, two men in India attempted...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...To smuggle gold out of the country under a pair of wigs were caught because blank.
ROBERTS: Something about the metal detector or something. They slipped off or something.
SAGAL: No. They were caught because their wigs looked so terrible.
ROBERTS: Oh, OK.
HELEN HONG: (Laughter).
SAGAL: The two men came up with this brilliant plan. They shaved a circle in the top of their heads. They taped these gold bars to them, and they covered it with wigs. Unfortunately, the wigs were so bad, the men were stopped by airport security who quickly found the gold taped to their shaved heads. Fortunately, the men did get away with the gold they hid in their socks and their rectums - kidding. Security found those, too.
OK. Bill, how did Roxanne do on our quiz?
KURTIS: She has six right for 12 more points. She now has 14 - a healthy lead.
SAGAL: All right.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
SAGAL: OK, Alonzo, you're up next.
Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, President Biden called on Congress to tighten blank laws.
ALONZO BODDEN: Gun laws.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, the governor of Virginia signed a law abolishing blank.
BODDEN: Confederacy.
SAGAL: No. They're abolishing the death penalty. This week, AstraZeneca said that updated analysis showed their blank was 76% effective.
BODDEN: Vaccine.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a woman in Chicago was shocked when a security video showed blank stealing a package off her porch.
BODDEN: A raccoon.
SAGAL: Close - a squirrel. On Tuesday, a report said U.S. prosecutors were considering sedition charges against the blank rioters.
BODDEN: The insurrection.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Thursday, it was revealed the New York governor blank prioritized COVID tests for his family.
BODDEN: Cuomo.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a woman on her honeymoon had to remove a cute picture of a wineglass...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...That she posted on Instagram because a friend had commented blank.
BODDEN: About lipstick on the wineglass.
SAGAL: No. The friend commented, I don't know if you care, but your entire naked body is reflected in the glass.
HONG: (Laughter).
SAGAL: The woman had just wanted to share a photo of her celebratory glass of wine on her honeymoon, but she shared so much more. Clearly this is not what she had in mind when she ordered a full-bodied red. The woman ended up deleting the picture, but not before 75 people liked it, which she says is, quote, "74 people and my mother-in-law too many."
HONG: (Laughter).
SAGAL: Bill, how did Alonzo do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Alonzo had four right for eight more points. He now has 10. But Roxanne still has the lead with 14.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
SAGAL: All right. So how many then does Helen need to walk away with this thing?
KURTIS: Five to tie. Six to win.
SAGAL: All right, Helen. Here we go. This is for the game.
On Wednesday, Senate Democrats held a committee meeting aimed at expanding blank rights.
HONG: Voting.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, vigils were held to honor the 10 people killed in a supermarket shooting in blank.
HONG: Colorado.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, hundreds of people involved in protests against the military coup in blank were released from prison.
HONG: In Myanmar.
SAGAL: Yes, Myanmar.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a woman in Louisiana bought a cake, some balloons and went out to celebrate the first birthday of blank.
HONG: Her pet squirrel.
SAGAL: No, the unfinished road construction near her house. On Monday, an adviser to blank said he had plans to launch his own social media network.
HONG: Donald Trump.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Following accusations of running a toxic workplace, blank's talk show lost over a million viewers this past season.
HONG: Ellen DeGeneres.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a mother denied that she had plans to fight a student...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...At her daughter's school despite the fact that she had showed up there with blank.
HONG: Boxing gloves.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
HONG: (Laughter).
SAGAL: The woman was called to the school to talk about her daughter's history of fighting. And afterwards, the mother got in the fight with the teenager who had dropped the dime. The woman denied that this was planned, but she did show up to the meeting with a boxing glove on one hand. And when they asked her about the glove - like, why do you have a boxing glove in your hand? This is true. The woman said she could not remove it because it was glued on.
HONG: (Laughter).
SAGAL: Same goes for the metal folding chair glued to her other hand.
Bill, did Helen do well enough to win?
KURTIS: Yes. You got to watch her.
ROBERTS: Yay.
HONG: Yes.
KURTIS: She had six right for 12 more points. She now has 16, and she is this week's champion.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
SAGAL: Oh, my God.
ROBERTS: Congratulations.
SAGAL: You've brought down Roxanne.
HONG: This is the first time I have competed against Roxanne. And now I'm afraid she's going to come to my house and beat me up.
KURTIS: (Laughter).
ROBERTS: I won't. I promise.
BODDEN: With a boxing glove.
KURTIS: (Laughter). * Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.