PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer's worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?
BILL KURTIS: Faith and Roy each have 3. Paula has 2.
SAGAL: All right, Paula, you are in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question, fill in the blank.
PAULA POUNDSTONE: You know, in politics when you come in third, it's a win.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: All right, Mr. Rubio, fill in the blank.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: On Thursday, CNN hosted the first Republican debate without blank to pick on.
POUNDSTONE: Without Jeb Bush?
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: David Cameron announced Sunday that Britain would hold a referendum to decide whether or not to stay in the blank.
POUNDSTONE: EU?
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, an appeals court in Texas dismissed felony charges against former Governor Blank.
POUNDSTONE: Oh, ah, ooh, ah, I always forget his name.
ROY BLOUNT, JR.: You almost got it.
SAGAL: So does he.
POUNDSTONE: Rick Perry.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Two of Mexico's former presidents said this week that there is no way that country will ever pay for Donald Trump's blank.
POUNDSTONE: Wall.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Police in the U.K. investigating reports of an injured otter laying in the road instead found blank.
POUNDSTONE: An ax-wielding pyromaniac.
SAGAL: No, the collar from a fake fur coat. This week, U.S. health officials reported 14 new cases of the blank virus.
POUNDSTONE: Oh Zika.
SAGAL: Zika, yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: A New York Times article on the Damn Daniel phenomenon noted that the meme had finally run its course because blank.
POUNDSTONE: I have no idea what this is. I'm going to say his mother made them stop.
SAGAL: No, it had finally run its course because The New York Times had written an article about it. In an incident that probably happens every day in Scotland, a brawl broke out at a McDonald's...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Because two men would not stop blanking.
POUNDSTONE: Taping things.
SAGAL: No, they would not stop playing their bagpipes.
POUNDSTONE: Oh.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Calum Graham and Allan Gilruth had just left a wedding reception when they decided to stop by McDonald's for a late-night snack. Unfortunately for everyone else at the restaurant, both men were part of a bagpiping band or gang. They began playing their instruments while waiting for their food. After a group of diners begged them to stop, the men offered the traditional Scottish apology - that is, they punched them in the face.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Police arrived and arrested the bagpipers, who were sentenced to 60 days of listening to bagpipes.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Paul did OK - five right, 10 more points, a total of 12. She's in the lead now.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: All right. We have flipped a coin. Faith has selected to go next, fill in the blank. On Tuesday, President Obama presented a plan to close blank.
FAITH SALIE: Guantanamo Bay.
SAGAL: Right. This week...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...Ted Cruz fired his communications director for sharing an inaccurate video attacking blank.
SALIE: Marco Rubio.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Thursday, the U.S. and China agreed to a new round of sanctions against blank.
SALIE: North Korea.
SAGAL: Right. On Wednesday...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...Sixteen of the people accused of occupying a wildlife refuge in blank pled not guilty.
SALIE: Oregon.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Police in Kentucky investigating a series of Rogaine thefts say they're looking for a suspect who appears middle-aged and is blank.
SALIE: Bald.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: I have an alibi. On Wednesday, the Australian Parliament passed a law legalizing medical blank.
SALIE: Marijuana.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: A new study found that survivors of blank virus suffer long-lasting neurological effects.
SALIE: Ebola.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: The city of Nagoya, Japan, hoping to attract new residents, recently...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Recently revealed a new town spokesman, blank.
SALIE: Hello Kitty.
SAGAL: No, a 420-pound male gorilla named Shabani. According to a university professor in Nagoya, the spokes-gorilla, the star resident of Nagoya Zoo, will attract new residents because he is, quote, "the complete package and perhaps matches the ideal of manhood that women seek today," unquote, which is absolutely true as long as the woman you're trying to lure is Dian Fossey.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Faith do on our quiz?
KURTIS: She got seven right, 14 more points. So she has a total of 17.
SAGAL: All right. How many then does Atlanta's own Roy Blount, Jr. need to win?
KURTIS: Seven to tie, eight to win.
SAGAL: Here we go, Roy, this is for the game. This week, the FBI called Apple's refusal to unlock the San Bernardino shooter's blank a marketing strategy?
BLOUNT: iPhone.
SAGAL: Yeah.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, the Syrian government agreed to a proposed blank?
BLOUNT: Cease-fire.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: In a video released on Thursday, ISIS threatened the founders of Twitter and blank.
BLOUNT: And went like this (imitating flatulence).
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: No, they threatened the founders of Twitter and Facebook.
BLOUNT: Oh.
SAGAL: On Wednesday, the Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid announced he was endorsing blank.
BLOUNT: Hillary.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a popular Chinese folk singer was busted for lip-syncing when she blanked on live TV.
BLOUNT: (Laughter) When she belched.
SAGAL: No, she sang a song while holding her mic upside-down.
BLOUNT: Oh.
SAGAL: According to new research, a low-frequency hum heard in the ocean may be caused by blank.
BLOUNT: Whales?
SAGAL: No, fish farts.
BLOUNT: Oh.
SAGAL: On Sunday, NASCAR racer Denny Hamlin won the blank in a photo finish.
BLOUNT: Oh, God, the Fortune 500, I don't know.
SAGAL: No...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...The Daytona 500.
BLOUNT: The Daytona 500.
SAGAL: On Tuesday, Bruce Springsteen...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Opened his concert in Cleveland by blanking.
BLOUNT: Bruce Springsteen opened his concert by singing a song.
SAGAL: No.
BLOUNT: No.
SAGAL: He opened his concert in Cleveland by saying, hello Pittsburgh.
BLOUNT: Oh.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And then he figured out what he did wrong and said, and Cleveland.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, did Roy do well enough to win?
KURTIS: Three right, six more, total of 9, but not enough to catch Faith, our winner this week.
SAGAL: Oh, Faith.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Well done, Faith.
SALIE: That's for my dad.
SAGAL: In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict who will be the surprising choice for Supreme Court nominee.
Wait Wait… Don't Tell Me” is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago, in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug I Can't Hear You Over The Jackhammer Berman, benevolent overlord. Phillip Goedicke writes our limericks. Our house manager is Mr. Don Hall, assistant house manager is Tyler Greene. Our intern is It's A Bird, It's A Plane, It's-A-Bel Robertson. Our web guru is Ms. Beth Novey. Special thanks to the crew at the Fox Theatre. B.J. Leiderman composed our theme. Our program's produced by Miles Dornboss. Technical direction's from Lorna White. Our CFO is Ann Nguyen. Our production coordinator is Robert Neuhaus. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. And the executive producer of WAIT WAIT..' DON'T TELL ME is Mr. Michael Danforth. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
