PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Now it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can - each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?
BILL KURTIS: Adam and Bobcat each have 2. Roxanne has 3.
SAGAL: All right, we have flipped a coin. Bobcat has elected to let Adam go first. So Adam, you're up first.
ADAM BURKE: OK.
SAGAL: The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. After finishing in last place on Super Tuesday, blank ended his campaign on Friday.
BURKE: Ben Carson.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, a federal judge ruled that the government cannot force Apple to unlock the San Bernardino shooter's blank.
BURKE: iPhone.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, the United Nations approved new sanctions against blank.
BURKE: North Korea.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: After celebrating her 50th birthday by hiring a limo for her and her friends, a Connecticut woman ended her great day by blanking.
BURKE: Crashing into a Google car.
SAGAL: No, robbing the limo driver at gunpoint. Last Saturday, Golden State Warriors' point guard blank broke his own NBA record for three-pointers in a season.
BURKE: Steph Curry.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: "Mad Max: Fury Road," "The Revenant" and "Spotlight" were the big winners at the 2016 blanks.
BURKE: Academy Awards.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: A police in Michigan searching a crashed car for victims...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Was surprised when he found blank inside.
BURKE: Kanye West.
SAGAL: A woman to doing crochet.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: If someone gets so bored waiting for emergency crews to arrive that they start crafting, the emergency crews are not doing their job. Anyway, the woman had only suffered minor injuries, which she said would have been prevented completely if only she'd manage to finish her most recent crocheting project - the world's itchiest airbag.
BURKE: Was she doing rage crochet?
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT: (Grunting).
SAGAL: Bill, how did Adam do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Adam got five right. That gives him 10 more points. He has a total of 12 and the lead.
SAGAL: All right, this means...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: You have a chance here, Bobcat. You're up next, fill in the blank. This week, a judge in Illinois threw out a case challenging blank's eligibility to run for president.
GOLDTHWAIT: Abe Lincoln.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Ted Cruz. After both sides failed to negotiate a treaty, the cease-fire in blank ended on Sunday.
GOLDTHWAIT: Syria?
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: According to a will that was released to the public this week, blank called for almost his entire fortune to be spent on jihad.
GOLDTHWAIT: Bin Laden?
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Authorities in Florida are currently investigating a blank that was occupying a handicapped parking space.
GOLDTHWAIT: A rascal?
SAGAL: A horse.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right, this week, a woman in New Jersey was unable to use her...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Honda Civic because blank.
GOLDTHWAIT: The senator had filled it with Hot Pockets.
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Because a Turkey had fallen in love with it and would attack anyone that got too close.
GOLDTHWAIT: Oh, I was going to say that.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Bobcat do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Well, Bobcat kept up with expectations here at WAIT WAIT... DON’T TELL ME.
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: He got two right, 4 more points, total of 6. But Adam still has the lead.
SAGAL: All right, so how many then does Roxanne need to win, which we know she likes to do?
KURTIS: Yes, she does. She needs only five to win.
SAGAL: All right, here we go, Roxanne. This is for the game, fill in the blank. According to The New York Times, the White House has begun vetting Jane Kelly for a potential blank nomination.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: Supreme Court.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, the State Department released the last batch of blank's emails.
ROBERTS: Hillary Clinton's emails.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: According to a new report, Britain would face a decade of economic instability if they blank.
ROBERTS: If they left the European Union.
SAGAL: Right. On Tuesday...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...The governor South Dakota vetoed a bill that would restrict transgender blank use.
ROBERTS: Bathrooms.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, police in New Mexico arrested a man for breaking into a convenience store and taking a pack of cigarettes despite the fact that he blanked.
ROBERTS: Well, he paid for them, but he broke in to get them and he left the $6.
SAGAL: Right, he left the exact change. Citing the spread...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...Of the Zika virus, the CDC warned pregnant women against traveling to Rio for the blank.
ROBERTS: For the Summer Olympics.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, The Rolling Stones announced they would playing their first-ever show in blank.
ROBERTS: In Cuba.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: A British woman caught using her deceased grandmother's handicap parking sticker...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Said she was in fact blanking.
ROBERTS: She was channeling her.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, what she said was that she was using it in her grandmother's honor.
(LAUGHTER)
ROBERTS: OK.
SAGAL: The parking pass has since been taken away, so the woman says she'll have to honoring her grandmother the old-fashion way - by fraudulently cashing her Social Security checks.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, did Roxanne do well enough to win?
KURTIS: Yes, seven right, 14 more points, 17 and a win.
SAGAL: Yay, well done.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Now that Mitt Romney has tried and failed to bring down Donald Trump, we will ask our panelists to predict what the Republican Party will try next.
WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philipp Goedicke writes our limericks. Our house manager is Don Hall. Our assistant house manager is Tyler Greene. Our intern is My Country 'Tisabel Robertson (ph). Our web guru is Beth Novey. Special thanks to the crew at Chase Bank. B.J. Leiderman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Miles Doornbos. Special thanks this week to Mr. Tim Barnes (ph). Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Ann Nguyen. Our production coordinator is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. And the executive producer of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is Mike Kettle Bell Danforth. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
