PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Coming up, it's Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924- 8924. Or you can click the contact us link at our website. That's waitwait.npr.org. There, you can find out about attending our weekly live shows right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming show in Tanglewood in Lenox, Mass., on September 1. Also, check out the latest How To Do Everything podcast. This week Mike and Ian tell you how to talk about your butt the way that Julius Caesar did. Et tu, bootay (ph)?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
BLAKE BAIRD: Hi. This is Blake Baird from just outside of Olympia, Wash.
SAGAL: Just outside of Olympia, Wash.? I love Olympia, Wash.
BAIRD: So do I.
SAGAL: I have been there many times.
BAIRD: Splendid.
SAGAL: It's really lovely. What do you do there in Olympia?
BAIRD: I am the principal of an alternative high school.
SAGAL: Oh, wow. That's exciting. Do you find that to be difficult work - being a principal of a high school?
BAIRD: It is, but I got to say, it is more rewarding than anything I've done to date.
SAGAL: Really?
BAIRD: Mm-hmm (ph).
SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Blake. You're going to play our Listener Limerick Challenge. Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Ready to play?
BAIRD: Absolutely.
SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.
BILL KURTIS: It's where sweat stains that cause the most harm sit. To fight them, I need a new charm kit. No Speed Stick I choose, but some slight BTUs. An AC that fits in my...
BAIRD: Armpit?
SAGAL: Yes, indeed.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Throw away your deodorant, your antiperspirant.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: A company in Japan has created tiny armpit air conditioners - little window units for your underarms clip on your sleeves and blow cold air into your pits for up to nine hours. Both cools you down and easily disperses your BO around for others to enjoy.
(LAUGHTER)
JESSI KLEIN: I love this.
BAIRD: All right, Blake. Here is your next limerick.
KURTIS: With a French sculptor's loose attitude, the terms bro and mate are too crude, but both are OK in New York's big bay. Lady Liberty may be a...
BAIRD: Dude?
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Yes.
KURTIS: Dude it is.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: It is possible that the Statue of Liberty was modeled on a man. Historian Elizabeth Mitchell compared images of Lady Liberty with that of sculptor Frederic Bartholdi's mother. We've always understood that his mother was the model for his sculpture. Looks nothing like Mrs. Bartholdi. For example, Mrs. Bartholdi was not 305 feet tall. However, the historian looked at pictures of Charles Bartholdi, the sculptor's brother, and found a strong resemblance.
ROY BLOUNT, JR.: And he was a spicy boy.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: We have one more limerick for you. Here it is.
KURTIS: Prostates - we learn to inspect them.
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: Volunteers - how to select them? This adjustable butt is making the cut. We're probing a smart robot...
BAIRD: Rectum.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
BRIAN BABYLON: Oh, boy.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: That was said...
KURTIS: Wow.
SAGAL: That was said with the confidence of a man who once taught in middle school. That was great.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So medical students at Imperial College in London are learning to give prostate exams on a mechanical butt. This is serious stuff. These exams are important. And this very realistic robot will help train a generation of doctors to do it correctly. However, there is a sad aspect to this otherwise uplifting story. This means that the one person in all of Britain certified as an official prostate test subject - there is a human test butt - will soon be obsolete. He will have lost his job to a robot.
BABYLON: Wait, there's a guy who just goes around that takes - tests this?
SAGAL: There is that one person...
KLEIN: Oh, man.
SAGAL: ...whose job it is to administer...
KLEIN: Really?
BLOUNT, JR.: He must have a real nice one.
SAGAL: Yeah, he does.
KLEIN: Wait, he's the guy who - what?
BABYLON: Wait - no, is he the guy, like, letting people practice on him?
SAGAL: Yes, that's the guy.
KLEIN: His butt - he's the practice butt.
SAGAL: He is the practice butt, and he is now out of a job. That means, along with David Cameron, two British asses lost their jobs this week.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Blake do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Three for three. He's a winner.
SAGAL: Congratulations.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Thank you so much, Blake.
BAIRD: Thank you, Peter.
SAGAL: Bye-bye. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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