PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Bill, can you give us the scores?
BILL KURTIS: Helen has two. Peter has three. And Tom has three.
SAGAL: OK, Helen. You are in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Monday, Attorney General blank announced his resignation.
HELEN HONG: Barr.
SAGAL: Yes, Bill Barr.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Thursday, French President Blank tested positive for coronavirus.
HONG: Macron.
SAGAL: Macron.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: For the third week in a row, more Americans than expected filed for blank.
HONG: Unemployment?
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, the FDA approved emergency use of the first at-home blank test.
HONG: Coronavirus.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: A man in Florida was somehow able to retrieve his golf ball and continue playing after it landed on a blank.
HONG: On a flamethrower drone.
SAGAL: No, on an alligator. On Thursday, the East Coast was hit with its worst blank in years.
HONG: Snowstorm.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: A woman in Wisconsin who was upset...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...The post office didn't pick up packages she had set out for delivery forgave them after she found blank.
HONG: That there were baboons having sex on her lawn?
SAGAL: Close. She found a note that said, couldn't get packages, animals chasing me.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Security footage showed the postal worker attempting to pick up her delivery but having to abandon his mission after being chased away by a flock of chickens. Despite this - I love this - he was able to leave a note...
HONG: (Laughter).
SAGAL: ...Which explains why you can hear him in the video yelling, fine, but do any of you chickens have a pen?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Helen do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Well, she got five right for 10 more points. She now has 12 points and the lead.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
SAGAL: All right. Very good. I'm going to arbitrarily choose Tom to go next. Tom, fill in the blank. On Sunday, the White House confirmed that hackers from blank executed a cyberattack on many U.S. agencies.
TOM BODETT: Russia.
SAGAL: Yeah.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, the FDA endorsed Moderna's blank.
BODETT: COVID vaccine.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, the USPS said the extraordinary amount of blank is threatening to overwhelm the service.
BODETT: Oh, mail packages.
SAGAL: Well, specifically Christmas presents, but I'll give it to you.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, Trump's neighbors in Florida tried to block him from moving to blank after Biden's inauguration.
BODETT: Mar-a-Lago.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: He signed an agreement saying he would never live there. The creators of popular new video game "Cyberpunk 2077" are offering refunds thanks to a glitch that causes your character's blank to blank.
BODETT: It causes his head to explode.
SAGAL: No, it causes his package to pop out of his pants. The game has now been withdrawn from the Sony store.
HONG: What?
BODETT: Ooh.
SAGAL: Following years of criticism, the baseball team in blank announced they were changing their name.
BODETT: Oh, Cleveland.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Thursday, officials reduced Russia's doping ban, but the country will still miss the next two blanks.
BODETT: Olympics.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Pepsi has restarted the cola wars...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...With their new chocolate-flavored drink called blank.
BODETT: Oh, Looks Like Poop.
HONG: (Laughter).
SAGAL: No, it's a new drink from Pepsi, chocolate-flavored. And it's called Pepsi Cocoa Cola.
HONG: Shocked by it.
SAGAL: They say the flavor is inspired by hot cocoa, hence the name Cocoa Cola. It's also inspired by just wanting to screw with Coca-Cola. The Coca-Cola Company, meanwhile, is getting in on the good-natured, competitive fun with their new beverage, Pep-cease and Desist.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Tom do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Tom had six right for 12 more points. That means he has 15 and the lead.
SAGAL: All right, then. So how many, then, does Peter Grosz need to win this thing?
KURTIS: Well, Peter needs six to tie and seven to win outright.
SAGAL: All right, Peter. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, Joe Biden campaigned for the Democratic Senate candidates facing a runoff in blank.
PETER GROSZ: Georgia.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Sunday, a former staffer accused New York Governor Blank of sexual harassment.
GROSZ: Cuomo.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, Secretary of State Blank announced he was quarantining after being exposed to COVID-19.
GROSZ: Mike Pompeo.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, the U.S. officially removed Sudan from its list of countries sponsoring blank.
GROSZ: Sponsoring a local softball team. No, terrorism.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a group of burglars in Canada apologized and offered to pay for damages after they realized blank.
GROSZ: They burgled the house that Justin Bieber grew up in.
SAGAL: No, that they had accidentally broken into the wrong house. On Tuesday, NBA star Giannis Antetokounmpo signed a record $228 million extension to remain with the blanks.
GROSZ: Milwaukee Bucks.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Best-known for spy thrillers "The Night Manager," "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy" and many others, novelist blank passed away at the age of 89.
GROSZ: John le Carre.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, residents of a town in New Jersey...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Who kept complaining about hearing something that sounded almost exactly like a cannon going off discovered it was blank.
GROSZ: A toilet.
SAGAL: No, it was a cannon going off.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The town that was bothered by this booming, regular, cannon-like sound were both surprised and also not at all surprised that the source of the noise was, in fact, a cannon. Apparently, the owner of a nearby vineyard had been using it to scare birds away from his crops. When asked why he didn't just use a scarecrow, the man said, I am. What do you think I'm loading the cannon with?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, did Peter do well enough to win?
KURTIS: Almost. Peter had six right for 12 more points. That means with 15 points, he and Tom are tied. They're co-champions this week.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
BODETT: Perfect.
SAGAL: Congratulations. Yay.
BODETT: Yay. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
